I had a friend in university that was on the varsity volleyball team. I remember a story he told of a pro volleyball player from Korea who was doing graduate studies at the school and helping to coach with the volleyball program. After a particularly grueling practice one day, several of the players approached him and asked how he would rank them compared to other teams he had known in his career. My friend and his teammates were at the top of the league at the time and feeling pretty confident.
The coach responded with a verbal image, “Imagine a staircase with 10 steps. You guys are about halfway up the first step.” Ouch. It is always difficult to assess ourselves rightly.
This reminds me of Teresa of Avila’s Seven Mansions of Prayer. Most Christians, I think it fair to say, do not progress past the second or third. Even if you do not adhere to this kind of schema, you would likely agree that your prayer life and transformation have a long way to go. I know I do. Rare is the person who would say they are expert at prayer, or even that they felt they were particularly accomplished. (Such people would be far too humble to say such things.)
Many of us (most?) lament the state of our prayer lives. We want to pray more but find it hard to find the time. We want to pray effectively but are unsure how to go about it. Maybe we read books on prayer and learn about centering prayer, contemplative prayer, the prayer of examen, the prayer of quiet – we try these. Some stick, some do not. Let’s face it, prayer can be wonderful and meaningful as well as complicated, confusing, and frustrating. Yet, we keep coming back to it, or trying to, and struggle to know if we are making any headway.
The Host or the Guest?
One of the most helpful images for me when it comes to prayer is that of the Host and the Guest.
Most of us will tend to see ourselves as the host of our prayer – we set the time and the agenda, we invite the guest – God – and we manage the "meeting."
Think of a time when you hosted a dinner party. The arrangements were all on you: to plan and provide the food, to choose the music, to set the decorations, even to think about the topic of conversation for the evening. As the evening progresses, you are constantly on point to see if the guests need anything, more food, more wine, different music. If the conversation lulls, you quickly try to think of something to get it moving again. When everyone leaves, you clean up the kitchen and flop down on the couch, finally able to relax. That is a lot of work.
Prayer can feel like that. We take it on ourselves to make all the arrangements, to bring the topic of conversation, to keep the conversation going, hoping that our “guest” is not getting bored. It can feel exhausting.
But what if we were to see ourselves as a guest rather than a host. What if Jesus is the host?
An Invitation
When you receive an invitation to a dinner party as a guest, all you really need to do is show up. You trust that the evening has already been planned by someone else. You can relax from the moment you arrive, trusting that your host knows what you need and what will give you an enjoyable evening.
There is nothing wrong with being a host of our prayers. Many people hosted Jesus for meals, inviting him into their homes and lives, asking their questions. But there is something that happens when we allow Jesus to be the host. We accept his invitation to come and be with him. We simply arrive and trust that he knows what we need today, that he knows the kind of “food” we love, that he knows what kind of “music” speaks to our souls.
If you knew you always had to be a host for your friends, you might take long breaks between events, making sure you had the energy and desire to pour yourself into all that planning and executing. But if you were responding to invitations to be a guest, well, you might just find there weren’t enough days in the week to say Yes.
Jesus hosts his Emmaus friends
The friends of Jesus on the road to Emmaus in Luke 24, having been captivated by all that Jesus was saying to them as they walked with him, rushed to act as hosts.
“Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.”
Jesus responded to their invitation. He became their guest.
But no sooner had they sat down, when Jesus moves gently into the role of host, taking the bread, breaking it, and offering it to them. It is then that their eyes are opened to who he was.
I wonder . . . if we allow Jesus to take the role of host in our prayer, might we too, have our eyes opened in a whole new way.
Perhaps seeing yourself as a guest in prayer is a new thought for you. It can feel intimidating, for sure, to open oneself up in that way, trusting that Jesus knows how to host you and lead you in your prayer, rather than you doing all the planning and organizing. I invite you to try it. You might discover that Jesus is far closer than you imagined.
Thanks for reading. Until next Thursday.
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